You go to the gym, you lift weights, you feel the burn, your muscles ache, and then you’re stronger from it.
It’s the same thing in life.
But only if you give yourself time to heal. And it doesn’t necessarily have to take long.
With your body, you need rest, recovery time and the right kind of nurturance.
It’s not much different with your heart.
Only nurturance, for your heart, may not be water and nutrients.
(Whiskey and cigarettes, you wonder? No, that’s just numbing the pain…)
Your heart needs connection.
From other mammals.
Don’t isolate, find a friend, some support, or hug your puppy extra tight.
Maybe you need space too, for you to “lean into the sharp parts” as Pema Chodron might say. To really feel the burn, the ache, the break, the pain.
Really feel it. Allow it. Make art with it. Do whatever you need to do. But stay with it.
Pain is part of being alive.
If you weren’t alive, you wouldn’t feel it.
Can you endure it?
Can you stay with it?
Our tendency might be to deny it (whiskey and cigarettes?)
Push it away, run away from it, build up walls of hate or guardedness to protect our hearts.
The trick is, with a breakup or breakdown, is to surrender to it.
And then take a step back, watch it, let it go.
It does not define you.
The good news is that you’re a creature who grows toward love.
Regardless of how awful your history may have been, regardless of how angry and upset you are, you will grow toward love.
It’s part of how you are wired.
You are one resilient mofo.
Allow the breakup, really feel the breakdown, and as sure as the sun coming up, your breakthrough is waiting on the other side. When? I don’t know, but it will happen.
The sooner you surrender, the sooner you’ll see the light.
It’s like the tide coming in and going out.
You don’t always get a ton of beach, but the tide WILL go out, as sure as gravity.
I don’t have a chart for you to predict when, but I can tell you, it will happen.
So if you’re going through a breakup or breakdown, which actually isn’t uncommon this time of year around V-Day, allow yourself to grieve, allow yourself to feel, pat yourself on the back for being human, trust that you’ll be that much stronger on the other side of it, accept, allow, and embrace…and let it go.
Hanging on too tight to anything never did any of us any good.
Cheers to thriving in business and love,