If you find yourself fighting about the money with your significant other, you’re not alone.
Financial disagreements are said to be the #1 cause of divorce.
My take is that it’s never really about the money, but money becomes such a sticky issue because it is so deeply connected to our security, much like love.
Without money or love, our survival is jeopardized.
This fact is hardwired into our brains.
Insecurity about either can set us off into a primal panic and cascade of fear if we’re not careful.
In the moments of arguments about the money, couples forget that love gives us much more security than money could ever buy.
Yet when fighting about the money gets hot, partners cling more rigidly to their commitments to their money mentality than to their commitment to each other.
This fact in itself is easy to lose sight of when you are in the throes of a heated debate around finances.
Fighting about the money can become especially problematic for couples in which one partner is an entrepreneur and the other is not. The entrepreneur is likely more comfortable with financial risk, may invest in their business with more readiness, and while their capacity to earn more exceeds that of their more practical partner, their capacity to lose it all can also be greater.
So what does one do?
How do you avoid fighting about the money?
You have to put your commitment to each other above and beyond your commitment to your views around money.
Understanding each other’s relationship to money is key.
But before you can do that, you have to understand your own relationship with money.
You have to have the humility to recognize that your way is not necessarily the right way when it comes to money.
Respecting each other’s relationship with money is key as well.
Not everyone recognizes how important this is; some may not be able to do it.
And even though having lots of money is NOT the solution to relationship problems, it can certainly help!
When you get intimate with wealth and truly create a harmonious relationship with money, you’ll likely see more of it.
You’ll understand each other more.
You’ll take better care of each other.
You’ll be able to have more compassion for your partner who has their own relationship with money.
And you’ll see more compassion from them as well.
Money trips so many people up. It trips couples up.
Money is really just an energy system of exchange that we are currently using.
Yes, it is necessary to have certain desired experiences or things.
It’s not only important but necessary for us to live our best lives.
But there is so much about your relationship with money that you may take for granted that is preventing you from seeing the best possible relationship with not only your partner but with money itself.
Take a step back and get honest with yourself.
When talking with your partner about money, determine first that you are on the same team, and that you want the same thing (a loving and connected relationship) (unless of course you don’t).
If money is the issue, take a closer look at your relationship with it.
Look at your memories with money, your attitude about money, and how it may be different than your partner’s, how you feel about money…what money means to you.
But recognize that we’re all looking at the world (and money) through a set of lenses that no one else is wearing.
Be willing to take them off and get your eyes checked.
To your most prosperous and abundant relationships possible,
P.S. If you are an entrepreneur ready to get intimate with wealth and dive in deeply to 360 degrees of your relationship with money from a mental, emotional, spiritual and MATERIAL perspective, My Best Relationship Society offers a 2 part training where I’ll help you understand your relationship with money at a much deeper level so that it will be your best friend and not your contentious enemy.
You’ll leave this training with not only a deepened relationship with wealth, but action steps and a system you can follow to see more money in your business. Sign up by joining the Society!