Someone I know is falling in love.
Everything feels so great, and she’s a bit scared. She’s had her heart broken in the past, and lately has been seeing a lot of duds. She really likes this one.
She is desperately hopeful. And happy.
I’ve heard that anxiety in the beginning of a relationship is GOOD predictor of its outcome, because feeling nervous means that you actually care about the person that you’re with.
Of course you care.
As I’ve been saying all along, we are WIRED to care.
She is glowing.
I’ve heard her talk about prospective partners in the past.
She drops these dudes after a first date. Nonplussed. On with her life. On with her work. No chance for these guys.
This one? Seems like a winner.
And her friends are giving her all the wrong advice.
She’s questioning herself because some part of her knows better, but feels like maybe she should be listening to her friends.
They are warning her to follow the rules:
You need to go on this many dates this spaced apart and all the rest.
(Whatever the rules are.)
I never had a rule book in love.
That’s why it worked for me.
It felt good, he didn’t have red flags of being a narcissist or even worse, a serial killer, and I surrendered to it.
The first Friday night I stayed over at his place turned into Sunday.
That is totally unacceptable according to the rule book (from what I understand).
The rules might force you to listen to something other than what’s in your heart.
They might try to have you be someone you’re not.
And being someone you’re not is never going to work out for you. It’s a guaranteed plan for failure, not only in love, but in all areas of your life.
I may have gotten it right in love, before I even knew about the glue that holds relationships together, but I certainly did not get it right when I hopped online with a “personally branded” business.
I played by the rules.
A coach once told me to refer to someone’s partner as their “beloved.”
After I puked up a little in my mouth and swallowed it back down, I put it up on my website.
I don’t think I had ever used that word “beloved” before and I certainly could not bring myself to say it out loud. But — this coach was helping so many more people than I was and making millions, surely she knew what she was doing more than I did.
“Beloved” may have worked for her, but when I used the word? I was LYING.
Totally out of integrity.
Which is horrifying for someone who values integrity.
In business and love, don’t you dare change anything about yourself.
Stay true to who you are more than anything else and toss out the rule book.
A surefire way to ruin your chances of creating a relationship OR a business that works, is by playing by the rules.
You were not meant for the rules.
If you were? You’d be satisfied in an arranged marriage and HAPPY in your cubicle.
You were born into this time when we have the right to choose.
You picked this time in history for a reason.
The only way to make it work and to live your limitlessness is to BE your limitlessness, and that means stripping away whatever has gotten in the way of you and who you really are.
To your limitless in all areas of your life,
Tara Daylami says
Yes! Amen. I don’t know the rules either and I know I couldn’t and wouldn’t follow them if I did. Because there is NO WAY someone else can help you live YOUR truth, if they aren’t first living theirs. (And even then, it might depend on other factors, but that’s another story :))
Jenev Caddell says
You know it, Tara! Thanks as always for your comment!!