You’re at a breaking point: Your relationship is failing you.
Yet your partner isn’t willing to work on it.
Perhaps you’re feeling invisible, frustrated, stuck, sad — most of all, scared. Even though you’re unsatisfied and unhappy in your relationship, you love your partner, and you don’t want to lose them.
Many well intending people would advise you to call the whole thing off. They say, “if your partner isn’t willing to do work to improve things, leave them, they don’t deserve you.”
I agree that you only deserve the best.
But I don’t agree that the answer is that straightforward.
I assume you don’t agree either, otherwise, you’d be out the door.
You’re definitely in a challenging position when it comes to fixing your relationship on your own.
It would be a lot easier to have your partner’s buy in to improve your relationship.
Yet there’s likely more going on beneath the surface than you realize (trust me, I’ve worked with countless reluctant partners before).
Here’s something that is key when it comes to understanding people:
Everything that everyone ever does makes sense on some emotional level.
I know, lots of things people do leave you (and me) scratching our heads…WTF…
So I’ll repeat myself:
Even if it makes zero sense to you, everything that everyone ever does always makes sense on some emotional level to them.
This tells me that even though your partner may be seemingly unwilling to do any work on the relationship, there is an emotionally valid reason behind that, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that you or your relationship are not important to them.
Maybe they don’t believe in counseling or therapy.
Maybe they are scared or even suspicious that “work” you do together will drive you further apart, and they are doing everything they can to keep things status quo so they don’t lose you.
Maybe they have no idea how much of a problem this is for you, and don’t understand your pain.
There could be a million valid reasons, and as someone who has worked on relationship issues with too many people to count over the years, I can say with confidence that people quickly assume they are less important to their partners than they really are.
Maybe you’re assuming you’re less important than you really are to your partner, too.
We are really good collectively at losing messages in translation, and really bad at appreciating our relationships and being vulnerable enough to show each other how much we matter to one another.
So…you easily forget that you matter to your spouse, especially when they’re not particularly good at telling OR showing you.
It doesn’t mean you don’t matter to them.
Truth is, they may have no idea that they matter that much to you, too.
All of that being said, if you’re reading this, your relationship is important enough to you to consider working on it, even if your partner is unwilling to.
I’m here to tell you – it’s totally possible to transform your relationship single handedly.
So you can finally enjoy the kind of connection, understanding, intimacy and support you’re in desperate need of.
**I should point out – this is NOT intended for anyone in an abusive relationship. If you suspect you may be in an abusive or violent relationship, I encourage you to visit THE HOTLINE for confidential support.**
To be clear, I’m not saying you can change your partner or that it’s your job to.
I’m not saying you should do everything you can and make all kinds of sacrifices to save your relationship.
I’m not saying you should abandon your own needs and bite your tongue to ensure a happy marriage — quite the contrary, if you were to do any of those things, you’re ensuring a miserable one…
What I am saying is that if it’s important enough to you to do something about your less-than-ideal relationship that is leaving you longing for a deeper connection, you can create change from the inside out.
Here’s a 10,000 foot view:
You and your partner create a system together, and you are one moving part of that system.
If you change the way you show up in your relationship, that impacts the whole system of your relationship.
Just like one person can singlehandedly end or destroy a relationship, one person can also repair it beyond measure.
The next question you’re asking is…how?
When you understand what science is now showing us about how romantic love really works between two adults, what’s necessary to create a deep and fulfilling bond with your partner, and how relationships go wrong, you’ll be able to see your relationship from a whole new set of lenses.
When you discover the tremendous impact you have on your partner, and understand at a deeper level what’s really going on with them, you’ll be able to start to show another side of yourself — one that will pull them closer instead of push them away.
When you can see that the fuel that is driving you apart is the same substance that can repair your strained connection and glue you together, and you learn to use that fuel in a way that enhances your relationship instead of destroying it, you’ll create that kind of rock solid relationship you’ve been longing for.
It’s actually quite simple, but not necessarily easy because we become addicted to our emotional patterns and ways with each other.
Perception shifts can be tricky, because sometimes they call into question our whole reality.
But let’s face it, the reality that we are facing is not working.
Collectively, we are failing when it comes to our relationships.
It’s not your fault that your relationship feels like it’s going down the toilet. Just look around, at least half of marriages are…
Yet if you want a rich and rewarding relationship, it IS your responsibility to do something about it.
Thankfully, pioneers in psychology and neuroscience now understand what goes into a strong and solid relationship, how they go wrong, and how we can make them right.
Enter your email below and I will immediately send you a training which shares some of those powerful insights, and more.
This may be the best hour of your life that you can use to understand and transform your relationship — just enter your email below:
Watch this training, and you’ll discover:
- What you need to transform your disconnected marriage from the inside out so you can feel supported and cherished, even if your partner refuses to participate
- The real reason why all the communication skills in the world will only get you so far, and what you need instead to finally understand each other
- The secret to loving and lasting marriages that neuroscience has only recently revealed, and how you can use this fuel to grow closer together while also supporting your dreams, starting today
- An X-factor I’ve just started to talk about that can take even the most distressed relationships to harmony
Just add your email and I’ll immediately send you the training on 5 Keys To Go From The Brink Of Divorce To Deeply Connected And Understood — even if your partner doesn’t seem to care.
Watch it until the end for a unique opportunity.
Here’s to your deepest and most connected relationship,