What do you do when you need to go back on your word?
My word is VERY important to me.
I believe being reliable and dependable are two very important qualities that I embrace and frankly would like to see more people embrace as well.
Showing up on time for people, doing what I say I’m going to do, following through on commitments I make to myself and others….I’m far from perfect, but I’ve tried to be when it comes to keeping my word.
…the plan I lay out for myself doesn’t fit for me when I get halfway down the road.
I’m not talking about saying I’ll go for a 5 mile run and getting somewhat normal tired at mile 3 and giving up on my commitment to run 5 miles.
What I’m talking about is going out for that run and if I hurt myself, re-evaluating and stopping.
Because my first commitment is to my overall health and wellness. That’s why I’m running in the first place.
In discussing my business and this pressure I once felt to confine myself to marketing myself to only help people with their romantic relationships, largely due to the fact that I said I would, a wise mentor once told me, in so many words, “but you must keep your word first to whom?”
Mind you, I still very much value keeping my word. And you would never see me backing out an agreement or commitment that was specific and/or time limited unless there were VERY extenuating circumstances.
But my commitment to my word has held me back in some ways.
Because I so stubbornly value keeping my word that I have sometimes sold out on myself or my own safety at times, without realizing it.
Selflessness does not equal helpfulness.
Turning a blind eye to what’s really going on inside TODAY (not yesterday or last year when you made the commitment) will do more harm than good.
So if you’re in a situation in which you agreed on something with someone, perhaps your partner, someone else or maybe even yourself, and you’ve changed since making that agreement, my advice to you is to be honest about it.
Get real honest about your truth first and foremost with yourself, right here, right now in the present moment which very well may be different than it was yesterday or last year.
And own it.
Let that person know where you’re at. That your word is important to you (if it is) and that you’ve taken serious inventory, and would like to make an amendment to the agreement.
When you need to go back on your word to someone, whether it’s with your partner or anyone else, real emotional honesty is key.
Evaluate where you are at today in relationship to the commitment, and bring it up openly and honestly.
Your commitment must be first to yourself and your truth.
Otherwise, you are living in dishonesty with yourself, and therefore everyone around you.
That’s not good for you or anyone else.
Let me know in the comments:
When has there been a time that you had to go back on your word? How did you handle it? How did it turn out?
I’m finding myself in this exact predicament. I’ve told someone that I’ll do something for them several months ago, however, now that situation just won’t suit me at all. It’s a very dear friend and I don’t want to disappoint them but I won’t be happy if I do it. I’m torn about what to do.