The Quiet Cancer of Your Relationship (and maybe your business)

Following the footsteps of my husband, I did something big last weekend.

I took Facebook off my phone.

I asked him if he thought I could go all weekend without looking, and I was a little nervous. Could I do it?

I’ll be honest – I never was really into Facebook or any social media until I took my business online a little over two years ago.

Once I started connecting with entrepreneurs from all over the world, however, Facebook became like a slot machine for me.

B.F. Skinner was a behavioral psychologist noted for his work in the rewards based system of behavior known as “operant conditioning.” Basically, when there is random schedule of rewards associated with some behavior (think, slot machines), it can become extremely addictive.

Even though I’m not conscious of thinking ANY of these things, somewhere these or similar thoughts have likely taken up real estate in my mind:

MAYBE that post will go viral.

MAYBE I’ll see the best video ever of all time.

MAYBE my video will be the best video ever of all time.

MAYBE I’ll discover the latest twist in the soap opera that is Facebook…

…THAT I DON’T EVEN REALIZE THAT I CARE ABOUT, and feel ashamed that maybe some part of me does. What a big distraction from ME doing ME and MY LIFE.

But wait, I don’t want any distractions from my own life.

I hadn’t been thinking about it.

So I checked. As if automatic. I mindlessly checked.

The flashing message.

The flashing notification.

I’m being tagged!

I’m being liked.

Now I’m getting hearts. Or other freakish emoticon type faces. Like cats. With hearts.

This feels good in a way that I’m not even present to acknowledge, I just kept going back.

It became default.

People are messaging me and asking me for things.

Even though I like to consider myself a conscious person who understands the value of REAL fully present connection, and who TEACHES it and LEADS with that, I have found myself in 5+ 2-dimensional conversations at once.

Where things were said that I forgot because I wasn’t really being present.

This quiet cancer then becomes this automatic thing, unless we recognize it and deal with it.

You’ll still find me on Facebook. You can still catch daily videos there five days a week from me.

BUT.

You won’t be on my phone unless you call me (or, shh, email me, I’m not taking email off my phone).

I am here to help others master themselves more; I need to be walking the talk more myself.

Thankfully, social media has not been a malignant force in my relationship, however, if we didn’t have a strong foundation to begin with and if I didn’t recognize myself getting sucked in, we might have problems.

Let me ask you:

Do you put your phone away while eating meals?

Do you find yourself opening up your phone and checking Facebook instead of the weather (when you meant to check the weather)?

Are you mindful of your PRESENCE, whether you are ON Facebook or with someone you care about or by yourself?

I’m NOT here slamming social media.

Without it I would have a fraction of the business I have today.

Without it I wouldn’t have met some INCREDIBLE people from all over the world!

I am, however, asking you to be the boss of your social media, and don’t let it own you.

For someone who has always had a lot of energy and who has given it away in the past by default, I’m taking it back, or at least spreading it in a conscious manner that makes sense. I’m no longer leaking it all over the place in ways that serves NO ONE.

It’s time for me to be more diligent, conscious, intentional, purposeful, as the master of myself that I’m finally becoming.

Are you joining me?

This is my declaration to be not only more powerful as an entrepreneur, so I can be more fully present ON Facebook when I’m there, but more importantly, to be more fully present in my LIFE with the people I’ve chosen to spend the most possible time with during my stay on the planet.

Inquiring minds want to know, tell me about YOUR relationship with Facebook, and how is it effecting your real relationships in life?

I’m hosting a FB challenge. Whoever doesn’t show up, wins.

Cheers to thriving in business and love,