Striving for our highest potential

I have always been obsessed with our vast human potential.

That’s why I went to graduate school to study psychology in the first place.  I was enthralled by idea that we use such a small percentage of our potential on a regular basis.  I wanted to learn how to help people do better, defy their own expectations, and be excellent in whichever areas they chose to be.  I wanted the same for myself.

Only after Roger Bannister broke the 4-minute mile, which was said to be impossible, did many others start doing the same.

Our potential is limited by the prisons we keep ourselves in.

Our conditioning, the stories we have been told, and the stories that we tell ourselves can all get in the way of us achieving our potential.

So we change our thinking, we examine our thinking, we tell and re-author our stories and we choose preferred realities for ourselves.

We have the keys to our own cages and it is up to us alone to free ourselves.

If you are an entrepreneur, you are probably obsessed with your potential as well.

You know that building your business takes much more than showing up at a J-O-B, and involves more of you than clocking hours somewhere that you can be replaced.  You would have it no other way.

You put 110% into everything you do, and you decided to stop giving it away to some company, organization or government, and start your own.

But there’s a key ingredient that many of us fail to think of when we are striving for our highest potential.

Our relationships.

Maslow had them in there in his hierarchy of needs (essential qualities in our lives before we can reach “self-actualization” and come closer to realizing our potential), but he kind of missed the mark as relationships were third up from the bottom.

Maslow was ahead of his time for thinking about this, but, he was also influenced by his time in thinking that love and belonging were as high up the pyramid as he placed them.

“Connection with a loved one is oxygen for us all,”

                                – Dr. Sue Johnson

And without that oxygen, we can’t scale that mountain.

What would be the point, anyway?

We are social creatures born to connect from day one, and if we can’t do that, we perish as babies.

An ounce of that human connection for even the most traumatized of children can go a long way. We are a resilient species and we are wired toward growth and toward seeking that connection.

But sadly, along the way, some of us turn that instinct toward relationships off.

It can be too painful, too difficult, too time consuming, and can feel too hopeless at times.

I was giving a talk yesterday to an international group of women entrepreneurs and was told that one woman warded off relationships all together, thinking maybe she wasn’t meant to be in a relationship, especially because she was so busy with her business.

The need for a strong and healthy relationship does not discriminate.

It exists for all of us.

And while of course we all have periods in our lives when we may not have a partner, we are at our best when we are safely connected to one, or – depending on what stage of life we are in – the memory of one.

“You can go fast alone, you can go far together,”

                             – African Proverb

If your relationship is not rock solid, if you do not feel fulfilled or satisfied with it, have a look at it. Pay attention.

A strong relationship can help support you in countless ways, and can help you be your best in business.

Even if you have never had or seen a healthy relationship in your life, it’s never too late to create one.

Remember, we are wired to grow toward true love and connection.

Use your entrepreneurial spirit, motivation and steadfastness to up-level this fundamental area of your life.  Make that investment in yourself.

If your relationship is already rock solid, then enjoy it – and let me know in the comments how it has helped support you in business.

If you’d like to strengthen your relationship and would be interested in claiming a complimentary consultation with me to learn how you can do that, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click the purple heart that says, “schedule a discovery session.”

Cheers to thriving in business and love,