The blog here at MyBestRelationship.com is coming up on its 5th anniversary.
In honor of nearly 5 years of weekly blogs, we’ve put together the most popular 7 posts of 2017 to close out the year with.
Originally published in March of 2013, this post gets more eyes on it than any other on this site. Feeling invisible in your relationship is awful, and clearly it is all too common, given the traffic this post receives.
If you are feeling invisible in your relationship, check out the post, which encourages you to check yourself, which is good advice for any of us when things aren’t going the way we’d like them to be going in general.
To our detriment, the way we often handle things we don’t like is by reinforcing those very things, instead of asking for what we truly want.
The riskier thing to do in this case, which offers a preferable outcome, is to imagine receiving what you truly desire and putting out THAT energy, instead of reinforcing the pattern you’re trying to get out of. It will be more inviting.
The post points out a common pattern that many people who feel invisible fall into which is that they get louder and angrier, and less pleasant to be around as a result.
Guess what happens next?
They start feeling more invisible. It’s an awful trap.
If you can identify with any of this, read the post, and try another approach to getting your needs met.
This post basically summarized warning signs in relationships from Dr. John Gottman’s book, The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work.
Gottman has been a leading psychologist and researcher in the field of marriage and relationships, studying what makes them work and what makes them go wrong for over 4 decades. His book is a classic, but if you’re in a rush and are curious if you’re facing any of the top 9 danger signs in your relationship and are ready to do something about them, check out this popular post.
My job is always easier when couples come to me, ready and willing to do the work necessary to improve their relationship, and they tell me that they keep their relationship problems to themselves.
When you start talking about your problems all over the place and you’re only reinforcing them.
That’s why I wrote that sharing your relationship problems with friends and family is exactly what NOT to do when you’re experiencing them.
(***Note: if you are in an abusive relationship, I encourage you to talk about these relationship problems because emotional, mental or physical violence is NEVER okay. If you suspect you may be in an abusive relationship, check out thehotline.org for specialized and confidential help.)
I’m glad that this post struck a cord with so many readers.
It’s important to keep your problems to yourself because implied in that decision to do so is the understanding that they are temporary and will be resolved.
Just like feeling invisible, lots of readers are feeling unloved in marriage as well.
While it’s heartbreaking and sad to feel unloved by your partner, what I want you to take away from this if you are feeling unloved is that you can always turn things around.
Read this post about Jill and how she did that despite feeling unloved in her marriage at one point, and how you can turn things around too.
Another oldie but goodie (you can tell by the awful graphics…gotta fix that!)
Time doesn’t heal all wounds and recovering from infidelity is a challenge for the strongest of couples.
It can be done, however, and relationships often wind up much stronger as a result. I have seen it firsthand.
Check out this post if you’re struggling in the aftermath of infidelity and get some personal help from an Emotionally Focused Therapist so that your relationship can not only survive but thrive after an affair.
It’s not always an easy sell to get your partner to come with you to couples therapy or relationship enrichment coaching or something of that nature.
Often, one partner has a more sensitive meter for “relationship problems” than the other, and wants to work on things, while the other drags their feet and says things like, “things aren’t really so bad.”
If that’s the case with your relationship, I encourage you to check this post out like so many others.
While not as popular of a post, we have also debunked 10 myths about couples counseling that might also help you sell the idea on your partner.
“Hate” is a strong word, but I hate letting people down.
This post was actually inspired by a challenge I made for myself in 2016 to record and share a video every day, and apparently, in March of 2016, I missed a day.
I know, I let millions of people down the day I didn’t record a daily video (totally kidding).
Truth is, being as kind to myself as I aspire to be to others is something I’ve gotten pretty good at in the last few years.
That means being forgiving of yourself, which is part of what this post is about.
If you’ve ever struggled with letting others down, check out the post, and let me know your thoughts.
So these are the top 7 posts of 2017 – even though some were written almost 5 years ago.
Thank YOU for reading this post, and any of the others.
Here’s to your best relationship today and tomorrow, next year and all the rest,