Ahh, The Holidays – love, joy, and sparkles.
Chocolate, egg nog and candy canes.
Pretense, bullshit and commercialism.
None of the above, all of the above. One of the above, some of the above – take your pick.
Like anything, the holidays are what we make of them.
The holidays can be triggering, to say the least.
Countless people with whom I speak tell me that the holidays bring stuff up. Why? They bring us together.
Feelings of loneliness may spike when you see happy families and couples all around you and perhaps you just want to hide from family.
You may want to hit fast forward and make it through the January doldrums and into spring.
You’re not alone with that.
But pay attention.
The thing we crave most is sometimes the thing we repel.
An early environment which involved your experience getting stomped on, your needs being squelched or perhaps being beat down for merely existing will plant the seed of unworthiness and defectiveness in ANYONE’s brain, particularly a child’s.
Whether you go back into that environment or not physically as an adult doesn’t matter.
Everyone goes there mentally.
And our brains can’t quite tell the difference between reality and fantasy (which is why techniques like visualization can be so powerful).
So…whether you’re merrily sipping on gingerbread lattes or slamming down hot toddies to numb yourself to the drama around you, use this time as an opportunity.
If you’re having any especially strong “feelings” this time of year, please attend to them.
The holidays can be a catalyst to allow those emotions to surface.
It’s really an opportunity to move through some of these emotions that you might easily, understandably and sometimes wisely forget as you carry on through the rest of your year.
So many of us spend time hunkered down and going through our days that we fail to stop to pay attention to what is.
If you are feeling uneasy for whatever reason, now is your chance to evaluate from a more empowered place.
Take a step back and try to look at your emotions objectively.
Check out what happened to that little kid inside of you as the healthy, resilient adult that you also are, and have some compassion for yourself.
If this is too difficult, get some help.
We aren’t meant to do this alone.
If you’re struggling in love, your history likely has a lot to do with why.
That doesn’t mean you need to spend years in therapy, promise.
It DOES mean you will have to make some sense of your past, change your patterns, and practice forgiveness.
A lot of this is easier said than done.
But remember what I said above about visualization?
Same thing here: If you can imagine it, you can create it.
Allow your feelings to flow and follow them. They’ll move, that’s what they’re meant to do.
Cheers to thriving in business & love,