These are words I hear all the time.
It can feel like you’re trapped, like you’re up against a wall that just won’t budge, and it can be overwhelming.
More than that, it can be terrifying. Terrifying that you’re alone, that you carry all the responsibility, or that things will fall apart if you stop to catch a breath.
“Am I going to have to continue to carry the energy all by myself?” you might be asking yourself.
We’ve already talked about how your partner is like a mirror and likely reflecting back to you certain parts of yourself if they’re so triggering, so I won’t go into details about that here.
What I will do is share with you simple things YOU can do to uplift your energy so that you can feel better and hopefully your partner can catch your better mood.
See, emotions are contagious.
And here’s what I’ve heard: The strongest one wins.
But just like happy couples need FIVE TIMES as many positive exchanges for every one negative exchange, I believe you need to be even MORE strong in your positive headspace than your partner is in his negative place in order to have an effect, because negativity is compelling for us as a species (just turn on the news).
So how can you fly higher and stay positive?
Here are 3 tips:
Take care of yourself physically – this should go without saying, but it’s one we easily forget. Hydration, nutrition, exercise, sleep, and whatever else you need to feel your best.I’ve heard Dr. Andrew Weil lecture on the importance of FISH OIL and EXERCISE as 2 top tips for depression. Surely they help you feel better in general.
Feel free to also include whatever else works for YOU – manicures aren’t my thing, but they could be yours. Massages, baths, wheatgrass juice – what can you do to take care of your physical body?
I’ve been learning about essential oils and finally succumbed to using them a lot more in my home and whoa am I glad I did! I resisted them as a luxurious extra for awhile, but once you start with these things, you can’t stop.
Mindfulness, mindfulness, mindfulness – basically the answer to everything. If you can slow down and really curiously, lovingly and acceptingly be open to your experience and allow it? You’ll make room for it to flow. Too often, we don’t make room for the full experience we’re having, and as a result, we get stuck.
Do what makes you happy – there’s actually more to it than just being self-indulgent. Do what feels good, just make sure it’s not self-destructive (which usually means it feels good because you’re escaping or avoiding some kind of pain.) Being selfish sometimes can be not only better for you, but for everyone around you.
There are countless other tips I could share, like expressing gratitude, but for now, we’ll keep it to those three.
There are also simple ways you can work with your energy to make sure it keeps flowing and doesn’t get stuck. The Emotional Freedom Technique (the other EFT) is one way of working with energy to re-balance and calibrate it.
Here’s a caution, though:
If your mood soars higher and it’s NOT contagious? Your partner just digs his feet in even more deeply into his negativity? There is much more that needs to be said.
Be careful of just shutting him out all together and thinking there’s something wrong with him. This situation could be more reflective of a dynamic that the two of you have created together.
Sometimes we’re NOT just responsible for ourselves, and create something bigger than ourselves with the people we love the most.
The trick is to get outside of that pattern and fix it together.
Easier said than done, but I didn’t want to leave that part out.
Let me know in the comments what YOUR tips are to stay positive.
Cheers to thriving in business & love,