I will cut to the chase. The dirty word is space.
I wasn’t trying to rhyme, but space can be sublime.
(I couldn’t resist, it just came to me.)
Have you had the dreaded conversation?
“I think we need space.”
…sound the record screeching to a halt.
These are the five words that no one in a relationship wants to hear.
But I’m going to encourage you to say them. All the time in your relationship.
Because space is good.
And, contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t mean you need to move out, start seeing other people, or even stop spending time together.
What I mean is that you need to make space, claim space and expand into space in your relationship. As individuals and as that third being that is your relationship.
Couples get into problems when there is constriction.
Destructive cycles of negative emotional escalation spin out and the more they spin, the more constricted they can get.
Brains then literally stop functioning effectively and cannot be open to other possibilities.
In other words, there’s no way that he will be able to hear what you’re really saying, or vice versa.
So take space.
Take a step backwards – away from the heat.
And give yourselves a break.
Give yourself a break. And give your partner a break.
Relationships can be difficult, and people try to make them work without even having an honest look at them or giving them what they need.
Make some room for your relationship in your life.
If that means taking space for yourself to get really clear on what your needs and desires are, so be it.
If that means scheduling a date night once a week, so be it.
Or if it means having a talk that you’d rather avoid, make sure it happens.
Whatever it means for you, take your relationship off the back burner and give it the space it deserves.
How are you going to take some space today?
I’m really curious to hear.
Cheers to a spacious relationship,