{"id":11521,"date":"2018-12-04T19:03:05","date_gmt":"2018-12-04T19:03:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/?p=11521"},"modified":"2018-12-04T19:03:05","modified_gmt":"2018-12-04T19:03:05","slug":"never-enough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/never-enough\/","title":{"rendered":"Never Enough…"},"content":{"rendered":"
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“I guess underneath it all…I feel like I’m never enough.”<\/strong><\/em><\/h1>\n

…says nearly everyone who finds themselves sitting across from me in a chair or on a screen or through a phone at one point or another.<\/p>\n

I heard recently on a talk that Jean Houston was having with a friend of hers that — in so many words — self-loathing is considered in Buddhism<\/a><\/strong> one of our biggest obstacles to enlightenment.<\/p>\n

I don’t know if I’m going for enlightenment in this lifetime (just keeping it real) — but man, something about that really resonated.<\/p>\n

As I look around at the brilliant and successful people<\/a><\/strong> who come and work with me, there is often that common denominator:<\/p>\n

A sense of being just never enough.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

So you push and you strive and you create success and there’s something hugely satisfying about that.<\/p>\n

There’s this drive, this ambition — and to set and accomplish a goal feels good!<\/p>\n

It feels good to be able to create something out of nothing and have high expectations for yourself that you meet. That’s part of why it can be so satisfying to be human.<\/p>\n

But what about when you don’t reach your goals?<\/p>\n

Even worse, what about when you do?<\/p>\n

Accomplishing your goals will never erase a sense of being never enough or not good enough.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Yet that’s what so many fool themselves into doing.<\/p>\n

Hey, there are worse things you can do with a sense of not being good enough than aggressively accomplishing things and making a positive impact….<\/p>\n

Like I tell people almost daily, it’s by far better to cope that way than injecting poison into your blood….but at the same time, that sense of never enough — if you don’t put your finger on it — can really creep up and bite you in the ass.<\/p>\n

It can also be harder to recognize when you’re coping with accomplishments rather than creating a train wreck out of your life with drugs or alcohol.<\/p>\n

That sense of being never enough can create self-sabotage if you’re not careful.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Like Jane, for example (a fictional compilation of about 50% of people I work with)….:<\/p>\n

She’s a brilliant chiropractor who has created a successful practice and does amazing work, but even so, she’s not satisfied with herself, and is most definitely not getting what she needs in her relationship.<\/p>\n