{"id":255,"date":"2013-01-24T00:48:07","date_gmt":"2013-01-24T00:48:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/?p=255"},"modified":"2013-01-24T00:48:07","modified_gmt":"2013-01-24T00:48:07","slug":"should-therapists-play-cupid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/should-therapists-play-cupid\/","title":{"rendered":"Should therapists play cupid?"},"content":{"rendered":"

A really interesting article was published in the New York Times this week, \u201cShould therapists play cupid?\u201d\u00a0 Check it out here.<\/a><\/p>\n

Basically, the author, a psychiatrist, discusses his own temptations to set up his patients with each other, or even with other people in his life.\u00a0 He acknowledges that doing this sort of thing would be the equivalent of entering an ethical minefield, but even so, discusses his fantasies of playing matchmaker.<\/p>\n

I was actually pretty shocked to hear how much thought and consideration he has given to setting folks up!\u00a0 For clinical and ethical reasons, it was surprising to hear that this fantasy was fairly common among therapists.\u00a0 Granted, I can see why the thought might cross a therapist\u2019s mind, but given the rigorous training in ethics and appropriate clinical practice that one likely has as a therapist, entering into someone\u2019s life like that is seriously considered a no-no, so it was surprising to me that so many people have thought twice about it.<\/p>\n

A panel of 4 therapists discussed this article on the Huffington Post, and I was surprised again to hear how much some of them thought about playing the role of cupid \u2013 check out the video here.<\/a><\/p>\n

One of the issues that was wisely brought up in this panel is that of multiple relationships:\u00a0 in general, therapists should not have dual roles with clients.\u00a0 I am not too familiar with ethical codes other than that for psychologists, but in my ethical code, psychologists should not have relationships with their clients other than the therapist\/client relationship if it might otherwise impair their objectivity or interfere with treatment.<\/p>\n

Matchmaking is on seriously shaky ground!<\/p>\n

While I agree with Dr. Lazarus (on the video) that many ethical principles are like straightjackets for psychologists, I don\u2019t think the principle about multiple relationships is one of them.\u00a0 Rather, I think it\u2019s there for good reason.<\/p>\n

My view is that the relationship that a client has with his or her therapist is sacred, <\/b>and it is the therapist\u2019s duty to protect that.\u00a0 This does not mean playing God by interfering in a client\u2019s life in any other way than in the consulting room.\u00a0 This especially does not mean introducing people from the therapist\u2019s own life \u2013 whether they are other clients, friends or family \u2013 into the client\u2019s life.\u00a0 Such an act, even if harmless in many cases, has too great of a potential to tarnish that sacred space of the therapist\u2019s office.\u00a0 It is the one place in the universe in which your relationship with someone is mostly one-sided, for you, and separate from the rest of the world and the rest of your life.<\/p>\n

Even if it is tempting for you to think about your therapist setting you up with someone, your therapist getting involved like that would just muddy up the whole process. There are plenty of other people out there to set you up.\u00a0 And who\u2019s to say that the therapist isn\u2019t doing this for their own gratification?\u00a0 How would a therapist even know?\u00a0 I\u2019ve wanted to set friends up before and imagining that it might work out is extremely<\/i><\/b> gratifying to me\u2026(which is ok, of course, with friends).<\/p>\n

Like I said, it\u2019s shaky ground.\u00a0 You start bending rules and it becomes a slippery slope.\u00a0 Suddenly you may not have a therapist anymore but a friend.<\/p>\n

Your therapist may care deeply about you and know you better than anyone, but even so, your therapist should not be your friend.<\/b>\u00a0 I could see myself being friends with some of my clients as several of them might share my values and sense of humor, and I like them a lot, but I wouldn\u2019t think twice about the possibility because I am their therapist!<\/p>\n

I really agreed whole heartedly with Dr. Kolmes on the Huffington Post panel.\u00a0 Clearly we have similar backgrounds and training \u2013 she completed the same doctoral program I did a few years prior to me.\u00a0 She seemed to be the only therapist of the 4 that didn\u2019t seem to have thought twice about playing matchmaker \u2013 it is simply not clinically good practice and so it flies out the window.<\/p>\n

So \u2013 my answer to whether or not your therapist should play cupid is a resounding NO!<\/p>\n

What do you think?\u00a0 Leave your comments on the blog!<\/p>\n

Cheers to your best relationship \u2013 not set up by your therapist \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n

\"Jenev-sig\"<\/a><\/p>\n

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A really interesting article was published in the New York Times this week, \u201cShould therapists play cupid?\u201d\u00a0 Check it out here. Basically, the author, a psychiatrist, discusses his own temptations to set up his patients with each other, or even with other people in his life.\u00a0 He acknowledges that doing this sort of thing would […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[48,49],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nShould therapists play cupid? | My Best Relationship<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Should therapists play cupid? 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