{"id":4978,"date":"2016-07-07T01:00:21","date_gmt":"2016-07-07T05:00:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/?p=4978"},"modified":"2016-07-07T01:00:21","modified_gmt":"2016-07-07T05:00:21","slug":"feel-like-giving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/","title":{"rendered":"When you feel like giving up"},"content":{"rendered":"

Have you been struggling, and trying to make your relationship work, and then you start to see some improvement, and then all of a sudden, it feels like the bottom falls out?<\/span><\/p>\n

It might feel like you are in a worse place than you were before because now it\u2019s like you\u2019re heart is out there, you took the risk, you extended the olive branch, you did your best, you meant no harm\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

And you feel like it\u2019s all gone to crap.<\/span><\/p>\n

Do you feel like giving up?<\/strong><\/p>\n

A misunderstanding.<\/span><\/p>\n

A good intention that landed the wrong way.<\/span><\/p>\n

A trigger from a time long ago that maybe you had nothing to do with.<\/span><\/p>\n

For just a moment there, you were closer than ever with your mate? And the taste of it felt so good you even dared to hope?<\/span><\/p>\n

And now you are miles apart again.<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps you want to throw in the towel.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\"feel<\/a><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re working on this together, you question why you even bothered in the first place.<\/span><\/p>\n

You got slammed back into your old pattern where you feel frustrated, constricted, not seen or heard, where your truth is like a tiny grain of sand that you can\u2019t even pick up much less express.<\/span><\/p>\n

This is what Gay Hendricks in his incredible book The Big Leap<\/strong><\/a><\/em> was talking about with his concept of upper limits. An upper limit is basically\u00a0that\u00a0glass ceiling we all press up against when things start getting too good, too easy, too joyful\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

We reach a point where something inside of us says, \u201cthat\u2019s TOO much,\u201d and things start to crumble back into a homeostatic set point.<\/span><\/p>\n

The truth is that the set point is malleable, it just takes effort to change it.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve got news of you:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re working on your relationship and feel yourself sliding back into old patterns, and maybe it feels even WORSE than before because stakes are higher and you\u2019ve actually shed some layer of protection, I\u2019m here to tell you:\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s normal.<\/span><\/p>\n

Although I\u2019d love to say that the road from relationship distress to bliss was a linear one, I\u2019d be lying to if you if I did.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019d love to tell you that all the couples I\u2019ve worked with have gone from straight from brink-of-divorce to head-over-heels-crazy-about-each-other without any detours or testers of faith along the way, but I\u2019d be lying to you if I did.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019d also love to tell you that life was always perfect. You and I both know, I\u2019d be lying to you if I did.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

What I can tell you is this:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

It often feels harder before it gets easier.<\/span><\/p>\n

It can be easy to start something, like a diet or a job or a business or working on your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

But when you\u2019re in the thick of it, working at it, taking risks and not always seeing the results you thought you would WHEN you would, it can feel harder than ever.<\/span><\/p>\n

When things start to actually get better and then you hit that ceiling, that \u201cupper limit\u201d that tries to push you back in old ways, you may want to give up.<\/span><\/p>\n

And when you thought you were beginning to see the light (seeing rainbows in your wine) and then you start to doubt that ever even happened, you may wish to turn around all together.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"feel<\/a><\/p>\n

These times, however, when you want to give up, are the very times that you need to surrender to the process of what you\u2019ve committed to: reaching each other. \u00a0Then,\u00a0you’ll start to reach each other. <\/span><\/p>\n

I know, it takes two to tango, and you can\u2019t force someone to change<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

The most you can do is keep your commitment to reaching yourself – to digging down and grabbing that grain of sand and getting to know it so well that it becomes\u00a0the span of the longest beach you know.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then you can show\u00a0that gorgeous stretch of land to your partner and it will encourage the same behavior in return.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"give<\/a><\/p>\n

The results may not be a happily-ever-after-together, but they will be your clarity and truth, and therefore, freedom.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your love knows no upper limits.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Do yourself a favor and surrender to it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Let your thoughts and ego and pride and fears and all the rest fall to the wayside.<\/span><\/p>\n

The rest will take care of itself.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you been struggling, and trying to make your relationship work, and then you start to see some improvement, and then all of a sudden, it feels like the bottom falls out? It might feel like you are in a worse place than you were before because now it\u2019s like you\u2019re heart is out there, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4979,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[48,64,65],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhen you feel like giving up - My Best Relationship - Dr. Jenev Caddell<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Feel like giving up your relationship? When you start making progress and things get even harder, you may be on the right track after all.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"When you feel like giving up - My Best Relationship - Dr. Jenev Caddell\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Feel like giving up your relationship? When you start making progress and things get even harder, you may be on the right track after all.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"My Best Relationship - Dr. Jenev Caddell\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-07-07T05:00:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"DrJenev\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"DrJenev\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"DrJenev\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#\/schema\/person\/134beeb04d135934a008c19913b4c111\"},\"headline\":\"When you feel like giving up\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-07-07T05:00:21+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-07-07T05:00:21+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/\"},\"wordCount\":751,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"\",\"articleSection\":[\"Blog\",\"Fear\",\"Trauma\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/\",\"name\":\"When you feel like giving up - My Best Relationship - Dr. Jenev Caddell\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-07-07T05:00:21+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-07-07T05:00:21+00:00\",\"description\":\"Feel like giving up your relationship? When you start making progress and things get even harder, you may be on the right track after all.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"\",\"contentUrl\":\"\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"When you feel like giving up\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/\",\"name\":\"My Best Relationship - Dr. Jenev Caddell\",\"description\":\"Deepen your connections to strengthen your work in the world.\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"My Best Relationship\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/JenevCaddell_Logo.svg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/JenevCaddell_Logo.svg\",\"width\":720,\"height\":451,\"caption\":\"My Best Relationship\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#\/schema\/person\/134beeb04d135934a008c19913b4c111\",\"name\":\"DrJenev\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/e55e10a04ef752e9b2a4e3c21f1bb2b1?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/e55e10a04ef752e9b2a4e3c21f1bb2b1?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"DrJenev\"}}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"When you feel like giving up - My Best Relationship - Dr. Jenev Caddell","description":"Feel like giving up your relationship? When you start making progress and things get even harder, you may be on the right track after all.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"When you feel like giving up - My Best Relationship - Dr. Jenev Caddell","og_description":"Feel like giving up your relationship? When you start making progress and things get even harder, you may be on the right track after all.","og_url":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/","og_site_name":"My Best Relationship - Dr. Jenev Caddell","article_published_time":"2016-07-07T05:00:21+00:00","author":"DrJenev","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"DrJenev","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/"},"author":{"name":"DrJenev","@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#\/schema\/person\/134beeb04d135934a008c19913b4c111"},"headline":"When you feel like giving up","datePublished":"2016-07-07T05:00:21+00:00","dateModified":"2016-07-07T05:00:21+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/"},"wordCount":751,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"","articleSection":["Blog","Fear","Trauma"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/","url":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/","name":"When you feel like giving up - My Best Relationship - Dr. Jenev Caddell","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"","datePublished":"2016-07-07T05:00:21+00:00","dateModified":"2016-07-07T05:00:21+00:00","description":"Feel like giving up your relationship? When you start making progress and things get even harder, you may be on the right track after all.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/#primaryimage","url":"","contentUrl":""},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/feel-like-giving\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"When you feel like giving up"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/","name":"My Best Relationship - Dr. Jenev Caddell","description":"Deepen your connections to strengthen your work in the world.","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#organization","name":"My Best Relationship","url":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/JenevCaddell_Logo.svg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/JenevCaddell_Logo.svg","width":720,"height":451,"caption":"My Best Relationship"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#\/schema\/person\/134beeb04d135934a008c19913b4c111","name":"DrJenev","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/e55e10a04ef752e9b2a4e3c21f1bb2b1?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/e55e10a04ef752e9b2a4e3c21f1bb2b1?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"DrJenev"}}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4978"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4978"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4978\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4978"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4978"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4978"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}