{"id":589,"date":"2013-07-11T01:00:01","date_gmt":"2013-07-11T01:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/?p=589"},"modified":"2013-07-11T01:00:01","modified_gmt":"2013-07-11T01:00:01","slug":"how-to-get-out-of-a-rut-in-your-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mybestrelationship.com\/how-to-get-out-of-a-rut-in-your-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Why your partner might hate your passionate hobby, and what to do about it"},"content":{"rendered":"

Do you have a passionate hobby or something of the sort that your partner just can\u2019t seem to get behind you on?<\/p>\n

\"passionate<\/a><\/p>\n

Whether it\u2019s your career, a hobby, or a friend that you just plain adore, your partner might loathe something that is close to your heart.<\/p>\n

Gentlemen, perhaps football?<\/h4>\n

Why do you think this is?<\/p>\n

Many of you with a partner who doesn\u2019t support that thing you love so much might fall into the trap of worrying about whether you are with the right person because they just can\u2019t seem to support you.<\/p>\n

You may think that they are so selfish, not being able to support you in the one area of your life that you are passionate about.<\/p>\n

In reality, if this is the one area in life that you are passionate about, you have a much bigger problem than your partner just being selfish.<\/p>\n

Why?<\/h4>\n

Because your first priority and your first passion should be your relationship.<\/p>\n

The New Science of Love has proven that we are stronger, healthier and plain old better off when we have safe and secure relationships.\u00a0 Our relationships are as important to our wellbeing as it gets.\u00a0 It\u2019s crucial to have them at the top on our list of priorities.<\/p>\n

We know our need for safe and secure relationships on an innate level.<\/h4>\n

It is in our bones.<\/p>\n

The sad part is that despite this truth that is wired into us, we aren\u2019t really taught from the beginning how important relationships are.<\/p>\n

In fact, many of us have been brought up on values of independence and autonomy (check out the blog from last week<\/a> to read more on that) that contradict that wired in truth that we are born to connect.<\/p>\n

So when you, the person your partner loves, seem to be obsessed with something else, and in your partner\u2019s eyes you therefore don\u2019t seem to care so much about them, problems arise.<\/p>\n

They may not even be able to identify that they yearn for your attention, but they might grow resentful of whatever that thing is that you are so passionate about.<\/p>\n

When this primal need to be certain that someone else is there for us goes unmet, we sometimes have trouble articulating that because of all we have been indoctrinated with about independence and autonomy.<\/p>\n

When we can\u2019t say what we need, we often don\u2019t get it.<\/h4>\n

Partners aren’t mind readers.<\/p>\n

As a result of this unmet need, distance, resentment and animosity can creep up between partners.<\/p>\n

Slight discomforts stemming from this primal need not getting met build over time, and sometimes boil over into an all out blow out with the slightest trigger.\u00a0 You may be baffled as to why your partner is lashing out so much just because you want to go to your art studio or turn on the game.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s probably because on some level, they\u2019re feeling neglected, and would give anything to feel as important to you as your hobby.<\/p>\n

If there\u2019s any chance to them that your passion takes priority over them, even if you think they come first, the relationship is insecure to them.\u00a0 That is simply a difficult place to be, and will likely result in them being more on edge, anxious and perhaps hostile.<\/p>\n

So, what to do?<\/h4>\n

Make sure they know they\u2019re number 1.\u00a0 If they\u2019re not, get your relationship in a better place, or find someone else.\u00a0 Couples therapy can help; so can match.com.<\/p>\n

If they are number 1 indeed, the rest is easy.\u00a0 Reassure them, make time for them, and remind them how they are the most important part of your life.<\/p>\n

And repeat.<\/p>\n

We all need reminders from time to time.<\/h4>\n

Put your relationship first, make sure your partner knows they\u2019re number 1, and unless you\u2019re doing something they morally or ethically disapprove of, my bet is that they\u2019ll back you no matter what.<\/p>\n

Cheers to your best relationship,<\/p>\n

\"Jenev-sig\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you have a passionate hobby or something of the sort that your partner just can\u2019t seem to get behind you on? Whether it\u2019s your career, a hobby, or a friend that you just plain adore, your partner might loathe something that is close to your heart. Gentlemen, perhaps football? Why do you think this […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":739,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[73,48,53,58,51],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhy your partner might hate your passionate hobby, & what to do<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you have a passionate hobby that your partner doesn't support? 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