This has been coming up A LOT lately for many of my clients, so it only makes sense to share some tips on what to do when your partner’s a pushover.
You know, everyone else comes before him or her?
Their needs are subjugated on the regular, and they just kind of lay down like a rug and take it?
Here’s a video with my two cents on the matter:
1. The Mirror
What’s your partner reflecting within you that’s gotten you so upset?
Could there be something? I’ll betcha, because if not, you’d have addressed it by now.
If your partner puts everyone and anyone above him or her, chances are, you may feel like you’re last on the list too. In our closest relationships, it’s like we can become extensions of each other, so I can see how that would drive you mad.
If you’re feeling angry or frustrated, that’s a good sign that your boundaries are being crossed in some way. Someone isn’t doing you right by you. Perhaps that’s your partner, not treating himself or herself with the respect her or she deserves, and therefore not doing the same for you.
Boundaries, however, are rarely crossed without our implicit or explicit permission.
Ask yourself if you are complicit with this subjugation of your needs in any way, and then…
2. Be the change
Model putting yourself first to your partner by standing up for yourself and letting him or her know that you are not cool having your needs being trampled upon with the herds of people trampling upon his or hers.
Be supportive, of course, but not as a fellow martyr.
Relationships are our teachers, and sometimes, even when uncomfortable, our role becomes one of the teacher.
I believe that we have to ask more of each other to be our best.
Do you agree?
Mind you, asking MORE from each other and letting each other know our desires and needs is a vulnerable thing, because there’s a chance your partner won’t change. The discomfort in growth for someone may feel more painful than your discomfort in things staying the same.
That’s where communication from your HEART comes into play. As does courage.
But if you stay quiet, angry, frustrated, resentful?
That’s not going to help either.
Find your truth, then share it.
Got thoughts? Truth to share with me?
I want to hear, let me know in the comments below.
Cheers to thriving in business & love,