This post is for you if you are feeling helpless in your relationship, business or in the world at large.
When things don’t go according to plan, or how you’d like them to, or how you think they should, or people in your life operate in a way that you don’t like, a lot of stuff comes up.
Things feel so terribly out of control.
You are likely feeling helpless, among a number of other emotions.
Maybe you thought everything was going in one direction in your life, your relationship, your business or in your country, and according to your playbook, it appears to have taken a turn for the worst.
As much as you have free will, things feel completely in free fall.
While it brings us great comfort to know that there are things we can do to create certain results in our lives and in the world, it can be equally terrifying to recognize that sometimes, all the action in the world we might take might not seem to make a dent.
We don’t get the results we expected or desired.
You put so much into creating a house and then an earthquake hits and it falls apart.
You and your partner are happily pregnant but you miscarry the baby and can’t get pregnant again.
You build a business and it doesn’t take off the way you thought. Or at all.
You desperately try to connect with your partner and the harder you try, the more you push them away, and you don’t know what to do.
So what’s the solution?
Quit playing God.
Recognize how limited your perspective is.
Surrender control of anything that’s not in your control, and regain control of the only thing you can control: Yourself.
How you react to what comes your way.
Connect to yourself.
Take care of yourself. Feel your emotions, express them as needed, and let them move.
Be honest about them. Stay fluid. Expansive.
Don’t stay stuck in your helplessness.
Free yourself from the prison of your reactionary cycle of ping ponging negative feelings stemming from your primal emotional response as a fragile mammal who ultimately isn’t in control, however much you’d like to be.
Recognize that you’re connected to something much bigger than you or your ideas about how the world should be ever could be.
Stay fully connected yourself, to yourself.
Connect to your experience, slow it down, and exercise your ability to decide how you are going to handle the upset.
This requires focus, bravery, and the decision to consciously choose an open, accepting heart over a closed, protective and fearful one.
Stay connected to your truth.
What’s important to you. As an individual.
And lead with love.
Be the change.
Do your work.
As a result, without even realizing it, you will model to others.
And live more peacefully, knowing you are doing exactly what is best for you and everyone else.
One very sad tuckered out mom... says
2016 was to be a great year. Finally, after a ten year battle with addiction, my Son was ready to get clean. He planned to spend the rest of his life showing others the way out. October 5th at 6:00 pm I was to pick him up so we could get the ball rolling in the right direction. Instead at 3:45 pm I am informed that the last line of white powder he consumed was laced with a deadly dose of fentanyl. My only child left this world at just 26 years old. Changed plans? No control? Playing God? The hole left by this senseless loss is irreparable. Finding light virtually impossible. You are dam right we have no control… This world’s danger is horribly painful. Believe, hold faith, all will be well. Really? Where in lies the hope?
Jenev Caddell says
I have no words. I wish I could say something comforting but clearly no words can touch this. I am just so deeply sorry for your tremendous loss and hope that you can take comfort in your loved ones and get as much support as you can at this time. I am sending you love from afar, wherever you are. My heart breaks for you. At the same time, I know you will get through this and be stronger for it. xo