Too many of you have buried the implicit GOLD of who you are (and we ALL have gold within us) under many layers of muck, programming, false beliefs, perceived limitations, and all the rest.
Strip away that crap? Pure gold.
You’d be surprised to learn that much of what’s involved with saving a marriage is just about helping each partner own and express their truth with love. That’s all it is. Because the truth? Usually IS love.
Then? Each partner shines that gold to the other. We unpack the layers of crap around it and get to the heart of it.
That truth, that so many people so fervently deny or express in repelling ways with anger, cold shoulders and sometimes rage, is quite simple:
One person deeply cares about the other one, and is terrified of losing them.
When you can say that, vulnerably and raw, you give your partner permission to express their need for you too, and your relationship strengthens, just like that.
In the past this innate need for one another had been called “codependency,” “enmeshment,” or “fusion,” and it was considered downright unhealthy.
But when we look to quantum physics and brain research of today and recent years, we see that we are way more connected to each other than we’d acknowledged in the past.
Historically, we have not recognized certain needs, particularly those that required another human.
This disturbing trend carries over to how many people run their businesses.
It’s not good for business.
Without other humans, at least in 2016 before robots and/or our next species take over, you don’t have a business.
That’s fairly obvious.
But because so many of us have turned a blind eye to certain needs, we don’t even see them, or ignore them, until they bite us in the ass.
As entrepreneurs, most of us value independence even more than our employable counterparts in our capitalistic, individualistic society that already upholds autonomy as a value.
It’s no wonder we lose touch with our needs in business.
Just like the classic scenario of someone who is really interested in another romantically, but does not wish to come off as desperate (by simply expressing her feelings), many of us don’t want to be considered “too needy,” “too clingy” or “too demanding.” What happens, unfortunately, is that when we are divorced from our needs, they don’t go anywhere but get unmet, and our system starts to crumble.
This is much like a relationship that starts to be taken over by subtle or not-so-subtle hostility and resentment.
It causes burn-out and compassion fatigue among service based professionals on the regular.
Just as it’s not on your partner to psychically pick up on and meet your needs, it’s also not on your clients or your business if you are a service based entrepreneur.
You have to be ruthless about your needs, because no one else will.
You have to get real honest with yourself and recognize you’re not any WEAKER for having needs, but you’re STRONGER for acknowledging them to yourself, and even more strong for expressing them to another.
Making the implicit explicit is the name of the game, and it’s powerful.
Inherent in the implicit is the gold.
And to be full and complete and solid gold, your needs must be met.
It makes me sad to think that so many people will live the duration of their lives 3 feet from gold, some perpetually searching, and some totally oblivious to the fact that there is even any gold there to begin with.
I’ve long been obsessed with the idea that now is all we have and let’s maximize this time we’ve got.
To do this, we must access our gold.
If you’re reading this post, you’ve obviously either struck gold, or you know it’s near and you’re digging. Awesome.
One clear route to that gold that so many people forget about is the acknowledgement of your needs in order to get them met.
Sounds pretty obvious, but it’s actually quite revolutionary:
We have needs.
And some of these needs? Can only be met by other people.
This is as true in love as it is true in business.
When are are honest with ourselves about what those needs are and we put them front and center, clearly and explicitly, we are more likely to get them met.
Many times we might not even know we needed something until a boundary is crossed that we didn’t even realize we needed to hold.
If you consider yourself strong and capable and independent and if you think you have grit as so many business owners do, it might be even more challenging for you to step up and ask more for yourself from others.
You can’t do it alone.
As much as I sometimes think I’d like to be able to, I can’t either.
And as long as you’re not aware of and expressing these needs, you’re burying your gold, and your business is constricting when it should be expanding.
Let me know your comments – what’s one need YOU have in your business? This requires as much self-awareness as it does business savvy.
Cheers to thriving in business & love,
P.S. Ready to stop going it alone?
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