One of the best tricks in the books about how to get your relationship off the rocks and into a better place is to slow down.
Couples often seek help from an expert when the situation is urgent.
In fact, research shows that the average couple tolerates 6 years of distress before seeking help. SIX YEARS. And as they plow through those 6 years, trying to rush into solutions of their own, many couples only become more entrenched in their problems.
When they finally get to the point of asking for help, they may be at a crisis point, on the brink of a divorce, or so far away from each other that it’s hard to recognize themselves.
The pain has become so deep that they are desperate to get out of it, understandably, and want to rush ahead for solutions and relief. That only makes sense.
The solutions will not come from rushing ahead, but from pressing pause. Together.
I believe that one of the reasons so many relationships wind up falling apart, especially for entrepreneurs, is because of the rushing, the fast pace, and the zooming ahead. Yes, I think it’s great to be goal directed and future oriented to a certain extent, but the only time we really have is this moment.
Save yourself the years of distress by taking care of your relationship now. Don’t put your best relationship off until when you hit your 5 figure month consistently, or your 6 or 7 figure year. You only have this moment.
You wouldn’t put brushing your teeth off for that busy month or two where “things are crazy” in business, right?
At least take care of your relationship the way you do your teeth.
And the key that I’m sharing with you today is to slow down.
Take a step back, get some perspective, and get out of your own way.
Whether working with a relationship coach, a therapist, or trying to improve your relationship on your own, slowing down will get you further and faster.
Chances are, everything you need to have your best relationship together is within each of you.
Underneath layers of distress, fear, perhaps hurt and helplessness, there is the real you, and your real beloved. This real self may be painfully vulnerable for each of you to tap into, but it is what both of you desire and need. To actually get to that beautiful, precious core, however, you must first slow down.
It can be hard to go it alone, and having a facilitator take the lead and ask the right questions to peel away the layers can be enormously beneficial. You can relax, you don’t have to watch your wording so much or tip toe as you typically may do around each other, and if you and your partner start to go down a rabbit hole of misunderstanding and disconnect, you have someone there to immediately pull you out of it.
And guess what? It’s a lot easier if you start before tolerating 6 years of distress.
Slow down to go faster.
Give yourselves a chance to be fully present and real with each other. If you can do this, and be emotionally responsive, engaged and accessible to each other, congratulations.
When in doubt, or if it’s too tough to do this on your own, get some help. The sooner you start, the less help you’ll need, and the quicker you’ll be en route to a lasting and fulfilling connection with each other.
If you’d like to schedule a complimentary consultation with me, I’d be happy to connect with you to help you determine how you can make your relationship your best. Just click on the purple heart at the bottom of the screen where it says “schedule a discovery session,” and select a time that works for you.
Let me know what you think in the comments section below. Does this make sense? Do you agree? I’d love to hear.
Cheers to thriving in business and love, and remember, slow down!