If you are an entrepreneur, you are probably lit up, passionate, fulfilled and satisfied by your business.
Hopefully you feel the same way about your partner, but sadly, many of you do not.
It is said that entrepreneurs have higher divorce rates than the rest of the population.
That’s pretty scary, seeing that the current divorce rate is hovering around 50%.
In an Inc.com article by Meg Cadoux Hirshberg, wife to owner of Stonyfield Yogurt, she notes why so many entrepreneurs get divorced.
In one example Hirshberg discusses,
Roger says his wife of 23 years dominated their relationship even before she became an entrepreneur. In his view, building a successful company made her feel so powerful and confident that she became dismissive of him. “The seeds of our dissolution were already there,” says Roger. “But they were like popcorn. The heat of the business made them pop up all over the place.”
Yikes!
Hirshberg advises potential spouses of entrepreneurs to “tread carefully.”
Here’s another piece from the article worth noting:
Entrepreneurs are teachable but not wholly reformable. Underneath the grace notes of good intentions, I heard a common bass lick: The business will still come first. As Chris Blanchard puts it, “Anybody I get involved with will have to know that I already have one wife — and it’s the farm.”
Ouch!
Entrepreneurs, like everyone else, need to wake up to the fact that relationships are good for us.
And that we need to take care of them.
Healthy relationships change our brains.
Happily married people are healthier and live longer.
This information is not only confirmed by countless studies, but also by the longest-running longitudinal study of human development of all time.
Yes, you read that right: Of all time.
In 1938, Harvard University began following 268 male undergraduates with the goal to determine what factors contribute most to flourishing in life.
These men were followed over the years – from graduation, marriage, children, divorce, retirement, grandparenthood, and to death for some – and a wealth of data came from the study.
Many of the findings were published in a book, Triumphs of Experience, by George Vaillant, the man who directed the study for the last 30 years or so.
What does this longest running study of all time tell us about what we need to flourish in life?
In the author’s own words:
“The seventy-five years and twenty million dollars expended on the Grant Study points to a straightforward five-word conclusion:
Happiness is love. Full stop.”
Wow.
We need to pay attention to not only what the artists and the poets have been saying all along, but also what the longest running study on humans of all time tells us is most important:
Love.
The scientists are now in agreement: All you need is love.
And as an entrepreneur, I will admit:
I love my business.
But I’m also unavailable for anything less than an incredible relationship with my husband.
I’ve realized, over the years, that I don’t have to settle in business or in love for anything less than the best.
My message to you if you are an entrepreneur:
Mind your numbers, deliver the best customer service there is, keep up with your marketing, and continue to grow and expand. And all of that other business stuff.
You got this!
But never lose sight of what’s most important.
Don’t be fooled into thinking that you have to choose between your partner or your business.
You can have it all.
You can thrive in business and in love.
Reclaim your business, reclaim your relationship, and enjoy them to the max, for they are here for you.
Do you agree?
What are your thoughts about this issue?
Do you believe it is possible to have it all in business and in love?
Please leave your comments in the box below.
Cheers to thriving in business and in love,
Sources
Hirshberg, M.C. (2010) Why so many entrepreneurs get divorced, Inc.
Vaillant, G. (2012) Triumphs of experience: The men of the Harvard Grant Study.
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