I hear it all the time, “we just haven’t had good role models in love.”
You may be worried you’re doomed to a lifetime of unfulfilling, unhealthy and perhaps toxic relationships. Even worse, maybe you’ve found someone who appears to be the love of your life, but you just can’t figure out how to connect.
The way one of my mentors, Dr. Sue Johnson, describes this horrific situation where you’re with someone you deeply love and care about but you just can’t connect, is that it’s like you’re starving at a banquet with a delicious feast before you, yet separated from the food with a wall of glass.
You’re so close, want it so badly, but can’t seem to get it, no matter what you do.
The prospect of winding up all alone may seem more likely than anything.
But something inside of you knows better.
Something inside of you is searching, seeking for an alternative.
You’re ready to switch up the paradigm you’ve come into this life with so that you can know and enjoy true love, even if a part of you doesn’t think it’s possible.
Even if you’ve never had good role models in love.
Even if you have NO idea what a strong relationship is supposed to even feel like or look like.
I’ve got some good news for you:
You’re wired for love.
There’s no more powerful force in the world than love, and if you use this force as your north star, your guiding post, your motivation, and open yourself up to to the terror of uncertainty and continue to risk, you will reap the rewards of a rich and meaningful love.
You’re in the right place. This entire website and blog is devoted to help you create your best relationship, regardless of your history.
There’s a new scientific understanding about love and how it works.
The bottom line I want you to understand is that even if you’ve never had good role models in love, you can get this area of your life right.
You can have a relationship that is strong, connected, mutually supportive, understanding, passionate and intimate.
The first step is to understand that this desire you have is completely normal and indicative that this true love is possible for you, even if you have a hard time believing it.
Don’t be like the many who write it off as a possibility and don’t even bother going after it.
BELIEVE it is possible, and I can assure you, it will be.
I have worked with countless couples and individuals who have never have good role models in love and also had horrific histories of trauma inside and outside of their present relationships.
As a result of this work, understanding and applying the new science of love using a process known as Emotionally Focused Therapy, they have been able to achieve a relationship that exceeded their expectations. A relationship BETTER when they first met.
The reason why is because of this new understanding of love and a road map to help couples get there, regardless of their past, regardless of their role models.
They need to only be committed and determined, which comes naturally once you allow yourself to believe it’s possible.
It was once believed that if you had an awful history of trauma and/or you’ve never had good role models in love, you were screwed.
It was believed that your brain developed when you’re a child, and then at some golden age between one’s late teens and mid 20s, it stopped growing! It stopped changing. So the patterns you came into this world with were believed to stick with you for life.
Fortunately that’s been disproven.
Thanks to neuroscience and psychology, we now know of a concept you may have heard of called “neuroplasticity,” which demonstrates how our brains not only can change and grow but they do. Our experiences with each other shape our brains more than anything.
So – you’re not screwed. Even if you don’t have good role models in love, you CAN learn and understand what true love feels like, and you can create it, whether you are presently in a relationship or not.
Don’t give up! Don’t write off true love as a possibility for you. It’s more than possible.
Let love be your guide,
P.S. I put together a free audio training and workbook to help you understand this new science of love and what it takes to create true love.
You will discover 5 simple shifts you need to make to finally create true love whether you are single or in a relationship. I’m going to show you exactly what those shifts are.
You’ll also discover:
- Why you no longer have to choose between settling with someone and being alone.
- Keys to create the kind of relationship you’ve always dreamed of.
- The real scoop about how you can create love that even your therapist may not know about, regardless of your past;
…and much more.
Simply enter your info below and we’ll send that to you right away!
Would love to have this information sent to me.
Hi there! So sorry about that – the opt-in form disappeared, but it’s back 🙂 And we will forward you the workbook today. Thank you for letting us know the form was gone and sorry for the inconvenience. I hope you find it useful! Jenev