In this disconnected world, do you crave deeper connections?
I believe that when you’re truly connected to yourself, like really connected, you tap into the magic of the universe.
The best part?
It’s so easy, deceptively so, once you just let go.
We’re often taught and shown how it’s NOT okay to be ourselves, how to be more careful and how to hide our inner, supposedly savage nature, and how to stuff our creative gifts, emotions and truth under the rug.
We then make our lives so much more difficult than they need to be, because by distancing from ourselves, we lose ourselves, and lose each other in the process.
Ever stop to wonder why our rates of divorce are so high?
I believe it’s in part because so many people deny their inner truth, because for whatever reason they have found it unacceptable.
We’ve been misguided.
While Sigmund Freud was a pioneer in the field of psychology, he was also a misogynist and had flawed ideas about the human condition in general. Even though many of his theories are no longer considered to hold any weight, their shadows of influence about how we look at ourselves and each other remain.
For example, he believed that we were guided by the drives for death and for life, essentially, destruction and procreation. Fighting and fucking. This offers an aggressive and shallow portrait of humanity.
If that’s who we once believed ourselves to be, it would make sense to me why we wouldn’t want to connect with ourselves. If deep down my real drives are to kill you or to have sex with you, I don’t have much of a desire to connect to myself. I don’t want to admit that. It doesn’t feel good. Especially since we probably haven’t even met.
Thankfully, since Freud’s time, more has been discovered about how we are a social species and for the majority of us (we represent the fittest who have survived), we want to help each other. We want to lift each other up.
We are born to be empathetic, to care about each other.
Carl Rogers, another highly influential psychologist, believed that we are innately good.
When you get truly connected to who you really are, you don’t want to kill anyone. You are pure love. When you can connect to that, life becomes a lot easier.
Not only are you then able to tap in and access your innate gifts and talents, but you can share them with the world.
You get to just be yourself, take care of yourself, and treat yourself like the miracle that you are.
Your truth is all anyone is looking for.
That is what your partner wants from you.
That is what your friends and family want from you.
That is what your clients want from you.
That is what you long to connect to and express.
Honestly, it’s a win-win for everyone involved.
So how to form these deeper connections to yourself?
Recognize there is pure gold within.
Even if it exists among things you’d rather not admit about yourself, recognize, the gold is there. It’s you. And allow whatever else is there to be there as well.
You may not love everything you find but I doubt you’ll find the kind of horrors you may think you’re avoiding.
Quit ignoring your feelings, or trying to outsmart them or talk yourself out of them.
Accept them, own them, and be compassionate toward yourself.
Then, you can create that kind of opening to create deeper connections with others in your life as well. The kind that make you truly feel alive, and part of something bigger, because you are.
When you have those deep connections, to yourself and important others around you, you are that much stronger to soar with your work in the world.
To your deepest connections,